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Your generous giving allows Abel Speaks to support families like ours. Thank you for your partnership as we seek to ensure that every family will cherish their child’s life and have hope in the midst of sorrow!

I would love to share with you a little bit of Zion’s story and the impact that he made in our lives. Zion was an answer to our prayers. He was so wanted! We found out that Shelise was pregnant on August 21, 2023. We were very excited, but also very cautious. Shelise had experienced two miscarriages in the months prior. In the first week or so after we found out Shelise was pregnant, there was some worry that she had miscarried again. She had a flurry of doctor’s appointments, but at one of those early appointments—around eight weeks into the pregnancy—we were able to see Zion’s heartbeat for the first time. We had never had that opportunity with the previous two babies. We breathed a huge sigh of relief. As the weeks went on, our worry about another miscarriage became less and less.

At 16 weeks, we packed up the kids and went as a family to a gender reveal ultrasound. We were all excited to see whether we were having a boy or a girl. When we got called back to the ultrasound room, we all huddled around Shelise and the ultrasound monitor. We were thrilled when we saw Zion on the screen and could hear and see his heartbeat again… but as the tech continued the ultrasound in silence, something started to feel wrong. I have flashbacks all the time to the dimly lit room and the concerned look on the ultrasound tech’s face. When she finally turned to us, all she could say was, “It’s a boy.” After a pause, she continued, “You need to see your doctor as soon as possible. I see a problem, but I can’t tell you more than that.”

My heart immediately sank. I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving that ultrasound room with only that tiny bit of information. After asking several questions, she finally told us enough for us to know that his head hadn’t developed the way it should have. We left the building and sat in our car in shock, feeling sick to our stomachs. We still didn’t have a diagnosis or know the severity of Zion’s condition, and we were still hoping and praying he would be okay. We decided to call our midwife, and she was able to refer us to a diagnostic ultrasound lab for that evening. After dropping off the kids with Grandma, we turned back around and drove to the appointment. I didn’t know what to say, so we prayed as we drove.

We arrived and were taken back to another dark room. It didn’t take the technician very long to see what she needed to see. She turned to us and said, “Your baby boy has anencephaly.” The ultrasound technician told us that it is a 100% fatal diagnosis and that he likely wouldn’t make it to full term—but if he did, he would die shortly after birth. She went on to tell us that it was still early enough in the pregnancy that we had a couple of options, including termination. That was never an option for us. How long our son lived was not up to us, but up to the Creator of life. God entrusted us with Zion’s life, and we wanted to steward that and use his story to share about our faith in Jesus Christ, as well as to share the preciousness and sanctity of all life—even a life that would be far shorter than we wanted. Our prayer was, and still is, that God would use Zion’s life, no matter how brief, to bring glory to Him. We left that appointment heartbroken but praying to God for strength, wisdom, and endurance.

Moving forward was difficult, but God gave us the strength each day to embrace what He had for us. It wasn’t because embracing it came naturally—it was because we didn’t know how to survive without knowing that God was in control. We felt the truth of the verses in 2 Corinthians 1 that say, “For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead… On Him we have set our hope that He will deliver us again.”

Our family spent the rest of the pregnancy trying to make as many memories with Zion as we could and pouring as much love into him as we could in the short time we would have with him. We went on hikes, we went to the river, we went to the zoo, and took many more family excursions—all the while taking hundreds of photos so we’d have lots of memories of our time with Zion. We talked for weeks about naming him before settling on Zion Jeremiah. We love the meaning of the name Zion. Although it is used in different ways throughout the Bible, the meaning that stands out most to us is “holy place” or “kingdom of heaven,” which now serves as a sweet reminder of where Zion is. The name Jeremiah means “the Lord exalts” and is after Jeremiah in the Bible, the weeping prophet. He was nicknamed the weeping prophet because he went through so much suffering and sorrow during his ministry on earth, but his heart stayed tender toward the Lord. We also think of Zion Jeremiah as being named after his uncle Jeremy.

One of our favorite memories of Zion in the womb was how unbelievably active he was. We always said he was having dance parties in there! He was by far our most active baby in the womb, which was a sweet blessing.

At 40 weeks and 2 days, Zion Jeremiah entered the world on May 2 at 2:27 in the morning. He was a perfect 4 pounds and 14 ounces, and 17.5 inches long. We got to hear his little voice and his little cry. We got to feel him squeeze our fingers, we got to feel his skin, and his perfect tiny toes and fingers. The kids, who were out in the waiting room, were brought in and were able to meet their baby brother before he passed. They thoroughly enjoyed meeting, holding, and snuggling Zion. As a family of six, we sang a couple of worship songs, read two of our favorite children’s books, and took turns holding Zion. After a little over an hour in this world with us, Zion’s heart stopped beating, and he was with Jesus. God gave us that beautiful time with Zion before taking him home to heal him fully and finally.

The pain of losing a child is indescribable. It’s a crushing pain to be separated by death from your child—a pain our Heavenly Father knows to the deepest degree. The pain of losing Jesus, the perfect Son of God, who died to save sinners and make everything right. In Him we have hope. His dying has put death to death, and I will see my son again.

Zion dying shortly after birth does not somehow make his life less valuable. He made a lasting impact on our lives, and he will never be forgotten. His beautiful memory and precious life will always live on in the hearts of his mommy and daddy, his brother and sisters, his grandma and grandpa, his Mimzi and Papa, his aunts and uncles, and his cousins, as well as many friends who have walked this journey with us. I have no doubt that God will use Zion’s brief life to make us a better husband and wife and better father and mother. We are thankful that God chose us to be Zion’s parents. We wouldn’t trade that for anything.

As a final note, I want everyone to know that we don’t weep for our son. Zion is in a far better place than we can even imagine. He is with Christ, where there are no more tears, nor death, nor mourning, nor crying, nor pain. We don’t weep for him—we weep because of what we are missing here and now in this current life. But we are comforted by the hope and confidence that we have in Christ: that we will be reunited with our son in glory. What a comforting thought.

I would love to share a couple of verses that have been a comfort and blessing to us. Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you.” Just like Jeremiah, God knew Zion before He formed him in the womb. What a beautiful thought. Our perfect and holy God formed Zion in Shelise’s womb. He knew Zion’s story before we even knew Zion existed. He formed him just the way he was supposed to be. He didn’t make a mistake.

Another verse that has been a comfort is Revelation 21:4–5, which says, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. And He who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’” We look forward to that day!

Abel Speaks is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and all donations are tax-deductible.

2001 W Plano Pkwy, Suite 3405 Plano, TX 75075

(972) 688-6405