My baby girl, who I named J’Miracle, was in the making to be a little sister to her 1 year old big brother, J’Monroe. The sibling love was brewing early, as her big brother would often rub my stomach and say, “Hi Sissy,” and during the wee hours of the night would give her love taps due to his wild sleeping habits. As soon as J’Miracle gained muscle, she returned the love when her big brother would lay on my stomach. I will always cherish those nights which warmed my heart the most.
During my week 18 appointment, J’Miracle’s sonogram indicated that life may be a challenging one, if she made it past birth. The sonogram doctor provided the analysis that J’Miracle had an abnormal chromosome disorder, followed by a statement, “you have until week 22.” What does that mean?
Next, was a silent car ride home. Once I arrived home, I sat in the car in what felt like eternity, sobbing paired with a crushed soul. The thought of terminating my pregnancy was never an option. However, the thought of potentially losing her was a painful one to accept. In that moment, I decided that I would show up to the battlefield, but the battle was the Lord’s. God was in control and I followed His lead.
As my pregnancy progressed, my senses became weary and going to the doctor generated so many emotions. Oftentimes, J’Miracle put on the biggest show and her activity brought me so much joy. But what I wanted to go away from her body remained constant. How could it be possible, that I was happy and sad all within the same millisecond??
Now within my journey of reflection, I realize that God had a plan that consisted of miracles and trinkets of his mercy. God sent me instruction, a new hospital with an incredible staff, one head doctor who “stood in between my faith and science,” Abel Speaks, a therapist, an army of prayer warriors, and a plethora of resources. He gave me grace for another week, and another week, and another week to see my baby girl’s ultrasounds. He gave me the willpower to celebrate J’Miracle’s life leading up to her arrival date.
At week 34, my daughter came into this world on October 12, 2020 with a strong set of lungs. All the anxiety that I once experienced was instantly overpowered by God’s light. Everything that I had hoped for was my reality. I was in awe of my daughter’s fight, her beauty, her voice, her grip and her sparkling eyes. My kisses covered her body. She heard my non-Beyoncé-yet-angelic voice, singing “Mommy’s Apple Pie” (her brother is known as Mommy’s Pumpkin Pie). My heart was permanently stamped for the second time, like a passport. It was time to aboard, ‘Mommy Life Part 2.’
Holding J’Miracle forever was not within God’s plans, and she left this world to be with Him. Although we had time with J’Miracle, we wanted more. My flesh wanted her to stay, but I had to remember my prayer which was to heal my baby girl. Though the healing did not reside here on earth, J’Miracle was healed because she was with the Lord. She was fearfully and wonderfully made, and the days ordained for her were written (Psalms 139:14-16).
I once read this quote from an unknown author:“They say that Heaven is compared to the ‘blink of an eye’ for us on Earth. Sometimes it helps me to think of my child running ahead of me through a beautiful field of wildflowers and butterflies, so completely caught up in what she is doing that when she looks behind her, I’ll already be there.”
J’Miracle’s story has taught me so many wonders of God’s power. Ultimately, she showed me how life is temporary, and therefore I’ll strive to put on the armor of God everyday while I have breath, with eager anticipation of eternity in Heaven. J’Miracle is HER name, and I am extremely blessed to have been chosen as her mother. Lord, what you gave us was good! Let us continue to celebrate J’Miracle, rejoice and be glad in it. J’Miracle speaks!
Jasmine Artis, in memory of J’Miracle