Miller Murray Speaks

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”  (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

OUR STORY

We were overjoyed to receive a positive pregnancy test in the summer of 2020. Our family was growing from two to three and thoughts of baby names and pregnancy filled our brains — until the results of our 10 week genetic testing turned our our world upside down.

We were separated at the hospital due to Covid protocols when we were alerted that our genetic testing revealed a possibility that our baby had trisomy 18. We were quickly shuttled to the maternal fetal medicine unit while googling “trisomy 18”, never having heard of it before. We went from excitedly guessing our baby’s gender, to a doctor discussing termination in less than an hour.

Because we believe that life starts at conception and that our baby was ‘beautifully and wonderfully made,’ termination would never be an option (Psalm 149:14). We waited a few weeks and changed doctors, waiting for more scans to be able to tell us more about our baby.

Our 16 week anatomy scan left no doubt that our baby boy, who we named Miller Kevin Murray, had many abnormalities consistent with trisomy 18, and his genetic makeup would not be long for this world.

The next several months were filled with countless appointments, fear, confusion, anxiety, anger, and many, many tears.

Enter Abel Speaks who we had vaguely heard of from my sister who knew its founders through our church. We reached out for help and they quickly answered.

Spending a morning with Daniel and Kelly Crawford was an instrumental first step in changing our perspective on our circumstances and being able to honor and celebrate Miller’s life on earth through the sadness. They listened more than they spoke, and helped us process what we were experiencing through their own story of caring for their first child, Abel, who also had trisomy 18. The Abel Speaks organization’s care and service to us over the next few months made us feel not alone in our journey and continuously honored our son.

We decided as we approached term to have an intimate celebration of life for Miller, where immediate family came together to cherish Miller while he was still alive through conversation, prayer, good food and good drink. We circled the kitchen hand in hand, each sharing words and prayers for Miller. In that evening, our son was the sole focus for everyone dearest to us in our life.

The Lord decided it was time for Miller to come home the very next day. The doctor told us there was no heartbeat and it was time to do the unthinkable — pack our bags and begin induction in labor and delivery to deliver our dead son.

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7).

God’s ways are mysterious to us. Delivering Miller in the hospital should’ve been a devastating event. But instead, it was a day that filled us with peace and joy, the day we will always cherish the most. We finally got to hold and see our son, and he was beautiful. We sat as a family, holding his hands, marveling at his face. Proud of how he survived 36 weeks despite problems with his kidneys, heart, brain, lungs, and spine. Trying to soak up every minute of the only day we had with him.

We returned home without our son and a box of keepsakes in his place, beginning our journey of grieving and picking up the pieces of our lives. But we learned that there is hope and there is healing. Miller is in the arms of the King in paradise. He is completely healed. God’s promises do not fail. And we were gifted two healthy, wonderful babies over the next three years who share Miller’s forehead and nose, and will play with their big brother in heaven one day.

God allowing this to happen to us is mysterious and painful, but it is consistent with the immense suffering God’s people experience throughout the Bible. We are promised to suffer. The Bible says to ‘count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds’ (James 1:2). Our hope can be summarized by a verse in the book of Isaiah which says, ‘He will swallow death in victory and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces’ (Isaiah 25:8). We know loss comes for all, and are thankful the Lord keeps us in his hands in its midst rather than in having no answers at all.

Miller’s life is not for nothing. God is using him to mold us into people that are more like himself, and his short story has been told to other families who are in the midst of the same storm. Each story as unique and heartbreaking, and far more common than anyone realizes.

Abel Speaks cared for us, and we now have the honor to do the same for others as a mentor couple. We learned that simply opening your ears and listening can make a lasting difference in other’s stories.

PAYING IT FORWARD

Having our friends and family donate to Abel Speaks in Miller’s honor is a reminder of the faithfulness and support we felt from our people while going through similar pain. It helps keep Miller’s impact alive, and validates his existence.

Donating in his honor means that because of him, other families who chose to protect the life of their “Abel” baby, will be cared for the same way.

By faith, Miller still speaks!

-Kyle & Lyndsay Murray

SUPPORT ABEL SPEAKS IN HONOR OF MILLER

Your generous giving allows Abel Speaks to support families like ours. Thank you for your partnership as we seek to ensure that every family will cherish their child’s life and have hope in the midst of sorrow!

Abel Speaks is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and all donations are tax-deductible.

2001 W Plano Pkwy, Suite 1909

Plano, TX 75075

(844) 440-0122